Konnichiwa, everyone! This month’s blog is short and sweet because I have been swamped due to work, visiting friends, an upcoming international trip, and social engagements. Expect a longer (and potentially exciting) blog for March and a possible interview in April. Stay tuned!
SONG INSPIRATION
This month’s blog is inspired by Sir, a track from Nicki Minaj’s album, Queen.
MORE LISTENING, LESS TALKING
This year I’m beta testing a behavioral change. I’ve always struggled with my confidence, so in recent years I’ve tried to assert myself more. Not only have I purposefully placed myself in positions of discomfort (e.g. leadership roles, public outreach), but I’ve tried to speak with more confidence during group settings. I’m still only okay at it. Imposter syndrome is a beast not easily slain. Now, I’m taking a step back. I want to spend more time listening and observing. Personally, I’m better at this one on one. But I want to apply it to group settings. It’ll improve my ability to read a room, absorb information, and collect my thoughts. I suspect it’ll help my public speaking and confidence as well. Plus, it’ll make the times when I do speak more impactful.
Advice: Self-awareness is key to becoming a better listener. Paying attention to someone’s words is only 10% of the battle. The other 90% is their tone and body language. Note their voice and posture. Ask questions and not just superficial ones. Always be conscious of how much you use “I”.
HOW TO PREVENT SHIT STIRRING
Who can resist the temptation of setting Rome ablaze and watching from the roof with a fiddle? The answer, most of us. However, we’re all guilty of burning our own little Romes at some point. I used to stir a little shit when I was in high school and less so in college. It’s probably an integral part of personal development and social integration or some crap. Eventually, I – like most of you – grew out of it. Nowadays, I enjoy weeks and months of peace. But for some people it becomes a habit that persists into adulthood. These people feed off whining, complaining, arguing, and controversy. They crave conflict. Perhaps being offended validates them. I suspect an insecurity at the heart of it. For the past month, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the effects of shit stirring and how it corrupts an organization by devastating morale and ruining relationships. It’s toxic. So how can we prevent it? Here comes the list!
1 – Have Faith / Trust In Your Organization: If there’s one thing we’re lacking nowadays, it’s faith in institutions. That can have devastating consequences. Let’s zoom in. If there’s an instigator (i.e. shit stirrer) in your organization (i.e. company, grad school, neighborhood association, etc.), what does that have to do with faith or trust? It’s important that organizations invoke trust in its members (i.e. grad students, employees, etc.). This can be fulfilled with the suggestions I’ve made below. But it also means that the organization should adhere to local/state/federal guidelines, strive to improve the quality of the workplace, treat members fairly, and address issues in a timely manner. As for members, they should be realistic in their expectations and understand the intricacies inherent of any organization. They should also acknowledge whether their organization is generally positive or not. If they’re in a good place, they should have faith in their leadership and fellow colleagues.
2 – Working Relationships: Building healthy relationships will reduce the possibility of an outsider negatively influencing an organization. If you get along with your colleagues, it’s going to be that much harder for someone to affect your opinion of them. A healthy relationship doesn’t mean friendship. It doesn’t even mean personal affinity. It simply means a cordial relationship while operating within the organization. My finicky personality has made this a challenge, but I’ve improved during my time in grad school. I work with many people I don’t consider friends, but I know they’re decent people who mean well.
3 – Calling It Out: This one is tricky, especially depending on the nature of the organization. However, calling someone out for their behavior doesn’t have to involve aggression or rudeness. But it does involve a degree of finesse. You can question the person’s assertions and motives. Why do you feel this way? How would you change X or Y? Have you considered Z? Inserting a bit of doubt can do wonders, especially in a group setting. Remember we’re trying to protect an organization against a pathogen. Staying silent is irresponsible and disloyal. Evil thrives when good [people] do nothing.
4 – Healthy Feedback: One of the best ways to stave off a shit stirrer is for the organization to have protections in place before the threat arises. And a handy protection to have is a healthy conduit for feedback. Any critiques/suggestions/complaints/opinions should be channeled to authority figures within the organization. That way, members can express themselves without repercussion. In short, they feel heard. This reduces the likelihood of resentment, which would provide fodder for our hypothetical shit starter.
Advice: Ultimately, it’s about choices. You can choose to have faith. You can choose to build healthy work relationships. And you can choose to call out troublesome behavior and provide healthy feedback to higher ups in an organization. If you value your organization, you should try to protect and preserve it.
CURRENT SHOWS
Recently finished: The First
Currently watching: Ajin: Demi-Human; Sex Education; Madam Secretary (s1)
Thank you for reading! My next post is scheduled for Thursday, March 15th. Until next time….
The Planetary Novelist 