Greetings! I’ve sequestered myself inside due to the 110-degree heat of the Sonoran Desert. Just thought you should know.
SONG INSPIRATION
This month’s blog is inspired by That’s My Best Friend by Tokyo Vanity.
WRITING
Three events have happened in the last couple of weeks in regards to writing. 1) I drastically restructured the plot of my novel; 2) I found my ideal writing conditions; 3) I started my dissertation*. Let’s tackle these three points one at a time.
1 – Since the end of 2018, my novel has sat at 300 pages. It didn’t have the tone, pacing, or character development that I wanted. This was due to an underdeveloped and misdeveloped (that ain’t a word) plot. How did that happen despite years of planning? I made a rookie mistake. In my head, my novel reads like a movie. That’s how I visualize it – scene by scene. Translating that “mental movie” into a written novel is challenging especially if you haven’t done your due diligence, or you’re a rookie, or both. At present, my novel reads like an overly detailed screenplay. A book and a movie have very different pacing. If you write out every scene in the first half hour of a movie in the detail expected of a novel, you’d end up with a lot of pages but not necessarily much progress. That’s what I’ve encountered. I have to admit it hurts. However, I realize this is a process and I’m learning because of it. I’ve spent the last couple of weeks reworking the plot (including what I’ve already written) and fleshing out the end of the story. And it’s been invigorating! I finally have a path forward – a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I will return to writing before the end of the month.
2 – I keep learning things about myself and it surprises me that I don’t already know them. For instance, I work out better in the morning. I should know this. I used to run at 7 AM. And yet I’ve had to relearn that about myself. Although I’m more social in the evenings, I’m more productive with mental tasks (i.e. writing/research/etc.) during the early to mid-morning. Ergo, I’m a morning writer. Moving forward with my novel and dissertation, I will use this to my advantage. I need to be as efficient as possible if I’m expected to poop out several chapters in the next year. Now that I’ve discovered by ideal writing conditions, I enjoy writing more. I’m thinking about how to factor this into my lifestyle. Until now, I could never picture myself writing while holding down a full-time job (although I know that’s how most writers do it). Maybe now I can schedule little islands of time during my day to write more effectively.
3 – Technically, I started my dissertation last fall. I have rough, incomplete drafts of two chapters. Spring 2019 might as well be considered my “Great Hiatus”, because I didn’t touch them. But all of that changed when the fire nation attacked. Wait. That’s the heat talking. I meant everything has changed now that I’m making rapid progress this summer. I’ve finally worked out a writing schedule (the plan was to start formally writing in July). I will start working on Introductions for two of my chapters next week. My writing schedule includes a different section to be written about every week. Although data reduction and analysis continue, there’s still plenty to write (i.e. Introduction, Methods, etc.). I love writing, albeit science less so. I love synthesizing my work into a coherent story, which also helps digest its entirety.
Advice: When you’re passionate about something – in this case a hobby – you’ll find yourself rediscovering that passion again and again. That euphoria is motivating and inspiring. Make time.
UNCERTAINTY
Humans don’t like uncertainty. We want it black or white. This or that. Right or wrong. In recent years, I’ve grown more comfortable with dwelling in the gray. I’m learning to live with an uncertain future, specifically the year 2020. It seems far off, but any grad student in their final year will tell you it’s not. I’ll start applying for jobs this fall after I complete my technical review (which gives me the green light to defend). What job will I get – who knows! The start date for those jobs is anyone’s guess. When I’ll actually defend and graduate is also up in the air. I have no idea where I will be next fall. I could be in the desert, in Japan, in Europe, in Idaho, or someplace I haven’t even considered. I could be dead (hehe, got too dark for you, didn’t it?). All of this uncertainty means I can’t commit to anything. No trips, holidays, or anything after spring 2020. I just don’t know. Being a scientist, I’m better prepared for this. But having no certainty about future income or living arrangements is a little unnerving. Of course, I know that in due time things will become clearer. I’ll submit applications. I’ll be accepted, rejected, and wait listed. Each day will bring a little more clarity.
Advice: Work toward your goals and don’t worry about down the road. Yeah, you need to have a plan – an idea. But once you have a plan, work your way through the uncertainty.
IT’S NOT EASY TO SHARE YOURSELF
It’s never easy being vulnerable. Sharing your struggles, your turmoil, your imperfections with anyone – a parent, spouse, friend, sibling – is hard. You risk scaring them away or changing how they think of you. Make no mistake, we care what they think of us. I’ve struggled with this. Generally, I don’t care what people think of me. But there are people in my life, whose perception of me I care deeply about (and they may or may not be who they think they are). Opening up to them – showing them who I really am – hasn’t been easy. It’s not always necessary either. But sometimes – especially when you’re dealing with an internal struggle – you have to rely on your loved ones for support. That requires opening up to them, and opening yourself up to the possibility of judgement. The people who love you unconditionally will understand, even if it takes them a little while. While comforting, it doesn’t make the task any easier.
CURRENT SHOWS
Recently finished: Jessica Jones (s3); Lucifer (s2); True Detective (s3)
Currently watching: Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta (s8); Lucifer (s3); Stranger Things (s3)
Thank you so much reading! My next blog is scheduled for Thursday, August 1st. Until next time….
The Planetary Novelist 