What in tarnation? On the one hand, I can’t believe it’s been another month. On the other hand, it feels like it’s been two months. Heads up – today’s subjects are heavier (and more abstract) than usual. I apologize if my thoughts aren’t conveyed as concise as I’d like.
SONG INSPIRATION
This month’s blog is inspired by Chris Brown’s “Hope You Do”.
JAPAN – TIME
I only have a few months left in Japan. The return flight has been purchased. When I decided not to renew my contract, I was told 7 months just wasn’t enough time. Bruh. It feels like I’ve lived in this apartment, rode the number 12 bus, and walked these streets for 7 months already. The sheer amount of mental and emotional energy I’ve expended learning, adapting, and living is probably why it feels like time moves differently. The days drag. The weeks fly. The months stagnate. I’ve accomplished so much since January. If that’s any indication of the next three months, then I’m confident I will feel satisfied with this experience when I depart. I still have so much to learn, think, feel, and see. I know that my soul will ache for this place after I leave. The insatiable exploration bug (formerly travel bug) I caught in 2011 grows inside of me.
RETURNING TO AMERICA
Returning stateside is bittersweet. While I miss my loved ones, there’s a whole lot I don’t miss. I don’t miss driving. I don’t miss American portion sizes or eating habits. I don’t miss worrying about my safety, the lack of public transportation, denial, systemic racism, political dysfunction, rugged individuality, selfishness, etc. There’s little I miss, except for the people who mean the most to me (and my apartment :P). That was quite the realization to have one evening over red wine. It leaves open the possibility of moving abroad in the future and calls into question some basic assumptions I’ve made about my life. To be fair, I never saw myself retiring and growing old in America. So maybe this is an inevitable next step.
Regardless, I am excited to continue the next phase of my career and personal life. There is a lot to be excited about on the horizon –publications, the prospects of seeing family after over a year, much needed vacation time, etc. But the thought nags at me – that at my core I’m not certain I want to spend the rest of my life in the US. Then again, I suppose there’s no better reason to return to a place than for the people you love. Right?
GET OUT
After 4 years, I finally watched Get Out. Lort! Although I had a vague idea of the plot, I wasn’t prepared for the level of discomfort. I don’t mean the normal creepiness that comes from viewing a thriller. This movie dredged up a deep-seated unsettling feeling that I – and many people of color – have always felt in predominantly white spaces, especially suburban ones. Part of this feeling stems from lacking a sense of belongingness. There’s also a palpable sensation that behind the curtain of civility is sinister intent. Maybe this is a natural manifestation of distrust validated by the ongoing performative allyship and the secret racism that emerges when a person of color leaves the room. This movie did its job. It left me creeped out and paranoid.
SYSTEMATIC DISMANTLING
Since the tragic events of 2020, there has been a concerted effort to embrace anti-racist ideology. The point being that we can no longer simply be non-racist, but we should actively work to dismantle systems of oppression built on racist ideology. Whelp, there’s a system of power that has held sway over humanity since the Bronze Age. This system relies on its survival by propping up other systems (of oppression), co-opting political ideologies, and appealing to the existential. This system might be the final frontier of oppression. That system is religion.
In the past few weeks, I’ve engaged in a number of discussions with friends on this topic as I believe it to be one of the most influential socio-cultural and political systems in existence. I believe it’s presence, although arguably capable of societal benefits, is problematic for the future of humanity. Systems can be reformed, rebuilt, or rebuked. In an ideal world, I would like to see religion reformed. But that’s unlikely. Religion, unlike science, isn’t fluid but absolute in its claims. It relies on faith, a personal and spiritual connection to some higher power or purpose. Look, I’m fine with faith and spirituality – that’s a personal choice. However, I believe a manmade system that encourages an abandonment of critical thinking, oppresses those deemed as others, claims to be the only truth without exception, and results in endless conflict and abuse needs to go. All religions aren’t created equally and many are at different stages in their evolution (ha!). Nevertheless, if we’re going to talk about dismantling systems of oppression on the axes of race, sexuality, gender, economics, etc., then we have to start speaking honestly about dismantling a system that has been integral in propagating many of these maladies on society. The Bronze Age is over. Humanity has moved forward. Our systems should reflect our progress.
CURRENT SHOWS
Recently finished: Borgen (s3); La Revolution; Superstore (s3)
Currently watching: Superstore (s4)
Thank you for reading again! My next blog is scheduled for Thursday, June 3rd. Please continue to be safe and exercise caution – and if you’re able – get vaccinated!
The Planetary Novelist 