Another month, another state of emergency. Unfortunately, there’s an increase in covid cases in Japan and much of Asia. As a result, things are pretty restricted at the moment – malls closed, entertainment venues shuttered, no alcohol served, and restricted restaurant hours. Thankfully, mask wearing continues to be universal. And this month’s blog is short and sweet.
SONG INSPIRATION
This month’s blog is inspired by Doja Cat’s “Tia Tamera”. Issa bop.
JAPAN
I’m down to the last couple of months in the land of the rising sun. It’s getting warmer, wetter, and busier. At this point, I’m trying to savor every moment here – every bus ride, convenience store run, walk through the neighborhood, English class, etc. The sense of security and accompanied peace of mind has been intoxicating. I can’t stress enough how much I’m going to miss this place. Unfortunately, travel is severely limited. That would be a bigger bummer if I hadn’t visited Japan before (bougie-est line in the damn blog, I know :D). But I’m making the best of it – spending time with the friends I’ve made here, enjoying the food, and going outside when possible (the rainy season is also approaching). Of course, with time winding down until my return to America, it’s only natural that my thoughts drift to what’s next.
NOTHING IN STONE
One of the gradual realizations in life – especially as you age – is that so many of the things you’re supposed to do are bullshit. In many cases, no one’s really forcing you to adhere to arbitrary societal standards. You don’t have to get married by a certain age. Or have children. Or live in a certain city. Or live a certain way. Or own a house (by a certain age). Too often we get caught up in social pressure and build frameworks of those expectations that we hold ourselves to. And when things don’t work out, it causes us anxiety, depression, etc.
Over the last couple of months, I’ve thought a lot about what I want to do with my life and where it could take me. Although I’d like to think I’m more open than some to living outside of the box, I still catch myself doing things because I assume that’s the way they have to be done. For example, when I return to America, I’m supposed to find a certain type of job at a certain place in a given city in a certain state in America. Right? But why can’t that job be in a state, or country, I never considered? And why does it have to be a certain type of job?
It’s natural to want some semblance of a life plan so that you have actionable goals to achieve in order to obtain the life you want. But it’s worth reminding ourselves from time to time that our future outlook is somewhat…arbitrary. I knew I wanted to be a professor since I went to college. I entered grad school with the understanding that I would become a tenure track faculty member. I’d finish grad school, get a post-doc at a different institution, join a university in a different state, apply for tenure after 5 years, and boom – I’m set for life. Whelp, that plan is now tucked at the bottom of a landfill (or more likely in the Pacific garbage patch). Not only do I no longer want that career path, but in working so hard toward it I neglected a plethora of other possibilities. Why should my career keep me in the US? Maybe it’ll take me all over the world. Maybe I won’t own a home by the time I’m 35. Maybe I’ll be 40. Maybe the people I thought I’d have in my life in 10 years look completely different. Maybe my relationships will be completely different. The sooner I recognized how malleable my plans were, the sooner I opened my mind to an array of possibilities. Nothing is forcing me to hit certain benchmarks by a specific age or choose one particular path.
Despite not knowing what’s next, I’m excited and hardly anxious at all. Of course, there’s reasons for that – and I acknowledge my privilege. But the reality is that even if I had to do a job I’m not crazy about, I know I have the training and skillset necessary to handle mah bi’ness. For now, I’ll just take my time and apply for positions that interest me. I’ll keep my options more open than I imagined just a few months ago. And I’ll try not to set any arbitrary boundaries. Whew!
WRITING UPDATE
So where are things in the world of writing? In the world of science, I have a paper under review (2nd round of reviews), another paper being passed around co-authors, and a third paper that I’m preparing to start. In the world of fiction writing, I’m on Day 37 of 250 according to my scene timeline. That doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a lot of pages (which means I’ll definitely have my editing cut out for me). The progress on my novel, although consistent since moving to Japan, isn’t where I hoped it would be. That’s partly because I’m busier than I thought I’d be with work and other projects. However, I can’t deny that I’m a tiny bit disappointed. But that’s thoroughly mixed with feelings of jubilations at my near constant daily progress. I’ve started to write more in my downtime – pooping out a paragraph, page, or scene here and there. The unrealistic goal is to finish a first draft by the end of 2021. But y’know I done said similar shit before. That deadline, by the way, is because I really want to move to the next project NOT because I have some arbitrary idea of success 😊
CURRENT SHOWS
Recently finished: B the Beginning (s2); Deadwind (s1-2); Falcon and the Winter Soldier; Lupin (part 1); Pacific Rim: The Black; Special (s2); Superstore (s4); Unbelievable; Violet Evergarden
Currently watching: Lucifer (s5); Superstore (s5)
Thank you for taking some time to read my musings. I hope you continue to be safe and healthy. My next blog is scheduled for Thursday, July 1st. Until next time….
The Planetary Novelist 