Halfway through the semester already!
SONG INSPIRATION
The song inspiration for this month’s blog is Do Better by Stormzy.
BIRTHDAY WEEK – A MILESTONE
According to the average human life expectancy in the US for my demographic, I’m middle aged. Two weeks ago, I turned 35. My birthday milestones are now every 5 years. Because my birthday fell on a Wednesday, I had no choice but to celebrate the weekend before and after and during the week. Woe is me. I’m thankful to have celebrated my birthday with a parade of virtual and in-person activities with the most important people in my life. How do I feel at 35? Physically no different than 34. But I have had a perspective shift. I’m the age my father was when I was adopted. I feel like an adult in the best sense – stable, supported, and confident. My priorities have shifted too as I find myself strengthening existing relationships, stabilizing my career (yawn), and treasuring life’s small wonders.
IT TAKES A VILLAGE
Recently one of my best friends asked me to serve as godparent to their bundle of joy. I made the decision almost instantaneously, but of course I overthought it. My godparents were instrumental in my upbringing and I formed strong relationships with most of my god siblings. Child rearing takes a herculean investment in time, energy, and money. And unfortunately, Western society tends to dump most of that on parents (especially mothers) and a few extended family members. But other cultures have taught us the importance of having a support network of chosen family – friends, mentors, etc. – when raising children. I look forward to serving as my godchild’s confidant and supporter (if even from the shadows). See, this is what I meant about the shift in priorities in my mid-thirties. Because who even am I anymore? HaHa
RADICAL INTIMACY
If you haven’t read Radical Intimacy by Sophie K. Rosa, I highly recommend picking up this book and starting a journey that challenges the very notions of relationships, intimacy, sex, and – believe it or not – the state. While the book approaches the topic from a mostly UK perspective, the examples are excruciatingly appropriate for the US. Both countries practice a Western view of family and intimacy which sees intimacy as a means of procreation in order to produce a workforce and reaffirm the legitimacy of the state. Instead, the author argues that alternative forms of relationships and intimacy are possible and, in some cases, preferable. Most of us have been conditioned (a nice way of saying brainwashed) into believing relationships must exist a certain way. This has led to a rise in loneliness, jealousy, lack of fulfillment, and a host of more serious consequences that shape our everyday lives. For instance, friendship is valued and prioritized only until the establishment of a long-term monogamous relationship (i.e., marriage). Our built environment literally supports this as people pair off and move to isolated fiefdoms in the suburbs. Yet, we wonder why we’re so lonely – desperate for connection. It doesn’t have to be this way. We can laugh, love, and thrive with each other in a community of shared values that transcends the boundaries imposed upon us by culture and society.
CURRENT BOOKS AND SHOWS
Recently finished reading: N/A
Currently reading: A Modern History of Japan; Frequently Asked Questions About the Universe; The Housekeeper and the Professor
Recently finished watching: Abbott Elementary (s1); For All Mankind (s1); Shogun; Star Wars: Clone Wars (s7)
Currently watching: Abbott Elementary (s2); For All Mankind (s2); Rings of Power (s2); Saiki (s2)
Thank you for reading! November’s blog is scheduled for Thursday, November 14th. Until next time….
The Planetary Novelist 