Happy New Year, Everyone! I hope you’re ready for another year of debloggery! I hope to incorporate more interviews and stories into this year’s blog.
SONG INSPIRATION
This blog was inspired by everytime, one of my favorite tracks from Ariana Grande’s album, sweetner.
SPRING SEMESTER 2019
What’s on the docket for this semester? It sure ain’t hundreds of volcanology experiments. BUT it does include visiting the Arizona state capitol and teaching in a prison. Turns out this semester will be more laborious than I’d intended. The hope is that it will satiate some of my extracurricular interests and further enrich my academic experience. I’m enrolled in two courses and two seminars. All meet only once a week. And any homework will basically be things I’ve been meaning to do anyway. I have some travel plans for the latter half of the semester as well.
LESSONS LEARNED FROM 2018
A couple of weeks ago I posted a series of Instagram stories on this very subject, but I’ll elaborate more here. I know that time – at least the way we humans tend to conceptualize it – is arbitrary and that there’s no real difference between December 31st, 2018 and January 1st, 2019. That said, I think it is important to take advantage of transitions – such as the New Year – to reevaluate ourselves. Last year was a helluva year. It felt more like a decade. From turbulence at the national level to health emergencies in my personal life, it was a year of considerable upheaval. But therein lies the potential for growth and self-awareness. You know how much I love lists, so here are some things I learned.
1 – Being nice doesn’t mean being less assertive. I let my guard down a little bit last year. I did this for a variety of reasons, including a loss of friends (due to graduation), more leadership roles within my department, and an attempt to build a new social circle (primarily within my department). It’s never easy when friends move away. It feels like they carry a piece of you with them. It makes you yearn for similar connections. Additionally, I took on some extracurricular activities. Both situations encouraged me to make a favorable impression on those around me. This is standard human behavior. Unfortunately, two possible side effects of trying to be liked is becoming too agreeable and passive. As a result, I sometimes failed to voice my opinions and object to certain decisions/actions. While this didn’t cause any disasters (aside from an embarrassment or two), it did cause me a great deal of irritation, anxiety, and resentment. I should’ve been myself and spoken up. I’m getting too old to not do both.
2 – Patience is a virtue…sometimes. Too much patience can come at a huge cost. Your sanity. Being patient during the day to day hustle that is life is generally a good thing. Losing your shit waiting in a line or waiting for service at a restaurant is rarely productive. On the other hand, some of my closest friends are impatient people. I’ve learned to adjust my behavior with them (e.g. brief statements) and tolerate their behavior in a given situation. Last year, I practiced too much patience. I tried building new relationships with people who weren’t interested, and I wasted energy trying to help people grow who couldn’t care less. This year, I’m going to adopt a smidge of my friends’ impatience, especially when dealing with people who aren’t bringing positive vibes into my life. Miss me with that.
3 – I spent too much time on new people. Any attempt to make friends requires time and energy. Those resources are finite, especially in graduate school. I used a lot – particularly in the latter half of 2018 – trying to connect with new people. As a result, some of my established friendships suffered. Suffer is a strong word, but I place a great deal of importance on friendship and therefore I shame myself for failing to maintain my own standards. Instead of wasting time trying to plan a dinner with person(s) who had little interest, perhaps I should’ve sent an email or a text to that friend on the other side of the country. Instead of a superficial hangout with an acquaintance or colleague, I should’ve Skyped with or called a close friend. No more of that.
Advice: Be yourself and do what’s best for you. Easy, right? Hell no! But keep reminding yourself, especially when your happiness and sanity are on the line. And don’t forget to invest in the relationships that are the most important and beneficial to you.
BEGINNING OF THE END OF GRADUATE SCHOOL
If everything continues as planned (which it won’t), I have begun my final 12 months as a PhD candidate. By this time in 2020, I should be preparing to defend. Deep breath. If you’re a senior graduate student, you can probably feel your anxiety rising as you read this. The end is near. I’m calm and yet not calm. Mentally, I have a 3–5-year plan. But we know what happens to the best laid plans of rodents and bipedal primates. My biggest stressor isn’t my technical review in the fall, writing my dissertation, or my defense. It’s the uncertainty inherent in getting a job. To be clear, I’m not worried about finding a job. I’m worried about accepting a job either in an undesirable location or in a field I have no interest. I don’t expect my first job to reflect the epitome of my career goals. But I want something that motivates me and provides a level of fulfillment. I still have time. I won’t formally start the job hunt until the summer, and I won’t start the application process until the fall when I have a more precise defense date. Heavy sigh. It’s all hands on deck for the remainder of my grad career.
Advice: Back it up, slow it down, and pace yourself. Transitions are hard. They require us to simultaneously figure out a plan, learn our strengths/weaknesses, execute said plan, and handle any logistics. As for jobs and careers, that’s a judgement call based on your priorities and ambitions. Just make sure you’ve adjusted your expectations for reality.
CURRENT SHOWS
Recently finished: 9-1-1 (s2); Baki; Castlevania (s2); Hero Mask; Killing Eve; Terrace House: Boys and Girls in the City (s2)
Currently watching: Ajin: Demi-Human (s1); The First
Thank you for reading! My next post is scheduled for Thursday, February 14th. Until next time….
The Planetary Novelist 
Ok two things. One, it did make my heart rate rise just a little even reading about someone nearing the end of their PhD. It’s too soon for me. I haven’t recovered.
Second, prison? What are you teaching and you are my idol.
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Psh, you went to South America and continue to exude fabulous. But thanks for the compliment. I’m part of a group of graduate students who are teaching an introductory geology / astronomy course.
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